Friday, April 20

The Love of Money and Insulation

Today is one of those days the thought crosses my head to go back to work...but only briefly.  You see, I would like more insulation in the attic.  Now hang with me here.  I get in the childish, "I don't want to do this" mood and start wishing I had more money to not have to worry about things like attic insulation.  Then the thought crosses my mind that why would I go back to "work" just to pay someone to do attic insulation?  What would I really be doing with the money I would potentially make?  I know what I would do (because I've been there before) and will tell you.  

I would:
Eat out more often
Hire work done
Get a house keeper
Spend money on nicer clothes
Lavish my kids with things they don't need
and probably get my nails done and pedicures regularly.

I don't see anything wrong with any of these at all.  In fact there was a time I enjoyed all of these things at the same time.  Let me explain.

I am at the stage right now where I am not volunteering for anything, don't have a full time job and my days consist of keeping the house picked up in case someone might want to see it since it's for sale.  The twins are home most of the time so there are arguments, screaming, crying, knock down drag out fights.  These moments scream to me, "GO BACK TO WORK".  

BUT, then their are the brief and very few moments like today when Izzy, for the first time with out being prompted and out of the blue says, "I love you mommy".  Tears come to my eyes just thinking about it.  I think to myself would I have missed that moment or it never happened if I were working full time?  I don't know and before you think I'm anti-working mom, let me back up further.  

I worked during the first 7 years of my first two children's lives.  Not full time all the time but towards the end of that seven year stint, I was working three part time jobs at once.  I had to work.  I enjoyed working!  I realized a long time ago that God makes us mothers in many shapes and fashions and some of us want to work, some of us don't, and some don't have a choice!  I was thrown in the I didn't mind working but also the I had to work categories.  I taught pre-k, was a dance instructor and worked nights at a retention marketing company.  It was an exhausting schedule.  I remember Katie at age 3 crying as I left her with babysitters.  I hated that part.  Any parent hates that part.  Then we moved.

When we moved my husband and I made some hard choices that allowed me to stay home but without the extra's in life.  No cable tv, no magazine subscriptions, no clothing allowance.... you get the picture.  I was always handy around the house to begin with but now it was necessity.  As my mother put it, "You do things I never dreamed you could do."  I choose to take this as a compliment.  I made my own baby food and laundry soap, learned to tile, lay hardwood floors, did my own plumbing, yard work and as it turns out, may be blowing insulation in my attic soon.  Why?  Because I can.  I am able to read directions, watch youtube and have been blessed with the time to stay home and figure these things out. This is now my "full time work". It's not for everyone and I get that.  But I feel God has given this opportunity to me for a reason and most of the time, I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction from saving hundreds or thousands of dollars.  In reality I'm not saving anything, I'm just spending what I can afford.  I wish sometimes that I could take that money I save and have my hair cut, a new pair of jeans or other extras but in reality, I want for nothing.  I have decent clothes (I think ;)), a nice home, food on my table, four outstanding girls and more love from a family than I know what to do with sometimes.  I know so many that have much, much less. 

So again I will say, I have so much more than what I deserve. I forget that sometimes. Hebrews 13:5 "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

I think that someday I will work more but today I thank God that I am able to be home.  

Insulation, here I come-


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